I’m sorry that you didn’t bring as much happiness to my life as I thought you would. But that’s not my fault and I don’t feel bad about it. Life happens.
So yeah, I definitely have a love/hate relationship with food. First it was purging, now when I’m eating I pick at the food and I will say things to myself that are hurtful. I don’t classify this as an ED anymore but I do have triggers and constant checking my weight. I hate that I’m doing this to myself.